Poke the Bunny, Get the Horns

Bless Your Heart, and Other Digital Crimes

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I went to a protest and came home to a Facebook fight. This is what happens when addiction meets ego in the age of social media…

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Social media is fucked. We've all known that for a long time. Standing in line at the DMV is more enjoyable and more productive. It is a time-wasting brain-decomposing waste of time. It's worse than that. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to us. It's incredibly detrimental to all of us. And I'm 100% addicted.

As an old man, my drug of choice is Facebook, with a chaser of Instagram now and then. I've always been petrified of heroin, knowing that if I ever tried it, I'd probably be finished. TikTok is my social media heroin. I can't even contemplate it, knowing that it would likely destroy me. I'm too old for new platforms. Although Substack is considered social media, I suppose, and it's by far the healthiest platform if you ask me. But I feel extreme self-loathing every time I pick up that god-damned phone and click that innocent-looking Facebook icon. I feel shame and disgust with myself. But I do it anyway. Because I'm addicted to it. But unlike drugs, using Facebook doesn't make me feel good. I wonder if Facebook while on drugs would be good? I may do some research on that.

I vaguely remember what FB was like when it first came out. It was just your friends in your feed, it was chronological, there weren't any suggested posts, and the ads didn't seem all that intrusive. You could scroll for five minutes, catch up on all the cool shit your friends and family were doing, and then put it down. That's no longer how it works, as you probably know. The worst features of both Facebook and Instagram were stolen directly from TikTok. The ulta-evil Reels. I do my level best never to click on the reels icon. But as a human being who is prone to the same addictions as the rest of humanity, I sometimes click it anyway in a burst of self-hatred, usually on the toilet, usually increasing a three minute bathroom break to an unnecessary thirty minute shit show. (See what I did there?) Now Reels are some evil genius-level stuff. I could scroll reels indefinitely if I allowed myself to. I get absolutely nothing out of it. There is zero trade-off. There is zero give and take. It takes from me, and I get nothing in return. And I do it willingly.

Here are my excuses:

1. I have to have social media for work. In this day and age, this is simply true. We can't run our businesses, especially our website, without playing the social media game. We have to do digital marketing on these platforms. The amount of targeting you can do is simply astounding. Look-alike audiences, split tests, geographical targeting, interest targeting - I mean, as a small business, we would have never had access to these sorts of tools in the past. But now we do. And to not use them would be stupid. We have to.

2. Self Promotion. Honestly, this is my biggest reason for being on social media. If there's something I'm up to, social media is the best way to let people know I'm doing it. I've done Kickstarters to pay for recordings, I post Substacks (no one responds to those), I promote my YouTube Channel, etc. It's great for this sort of thing. For the longest time, my dealings with Social Media were very one-sided. I'd post my stuff, but I wouldn't read anyone else's posts. I didn't scroll. I was committed to output with no input. Kind of selfish, I suppose, but much more healthy than what I'm doing now.

I'm not sure what changed. It's so confusing. Because with drugs, you get a little taste of something, and you're like, "That feels good. Give me some more of that." That makes sense, right? But with Social Media, it's, "This feels terrible. Give me some more of that." What is wrong with us?

I do my best not to engage online. I never respond to the horrible comments I get on YouTube. Never. I truly don't have any desire to waste my time going back and forth with someone whose opinion I may or may not care about. But I seem to have gotten myself into a 'Poke the bunny, get the horns’ situation. In my household, when the kids were much younger, when they annoyed me, I'd say, "Poke the bull, and you're going to get the horns." This along with a stern face was intended to get them to stop bugging the shit out of me. One night when they were in full pain in the ass mode, I looked at them and put my fingers behind my head to make the internationally recognized symbol of a bull. My youngest daughter said, "Daddy, you’re a cute bunny rabbit!" Once I'd finished laughing, the phrase in our household became, "Poke the bunny..." You poke the bunny, you're going to get the horns. It doesn't make sense, which is what we liked so much about it. It was a phrase that had its day in the sun for a while around here. I digress. I digress so much.

On April 5, we headed to downtown Asheville to take part in the Hands Off protest. It was a beautiful day, the signs were hilarious, poignant, and heartfelt - and in the best cases, all three. We could barely hear the speakers, but a few phrases made it through, and we'd cheer along with the crowd of 7,500 Ashevillians who had gathered. I was never a protest attendee when I was younger. I've always had a distaste for crowds, or more to the point, I've always had a distaste for being a part of a crowd. As far as I can remember, the first one I ever went to was the Women's March in NYC back in 2017 when I was up there visiting family. At the same time, my wife and two daughters were at the Women's March in DC. Talk about getting a taste of something and wanting more. I immediately got hooked. To be in a crowd of incredibly diverse people, all there for the same reason, is addictive in its own way. You can feel potential change in the air. You can feel the vast power of a united people. You get a better understanding of what Gandhi and MLK did and why it worked. It doesn't always work, of course, but it can. It’s therapeutic. It feels good, and you want more.

I posted some photos of the Asheville protest along with the text, "Super pissed off and in a great mood at the same time. Good job, AVL." Innocent enough, I thought. There were a few comments from other folks who don't like the way things are going. A photo from someone else's town protest. And then there were a couple of the expected comments from people I don't really know.

"You cannot be $36T in debt and add $2T annually, and let that continue. Bad things happen, eventually. Like now. Common sense."

"My question is, who is even listening to them?"

Normally, I would just ignore. Actually I'm still ignoring the first one, although my first impulse was to respond, "So the stock market going off the cliff is because of $36T in debt and adding $2T annually? There's no correlation to the Trump Tariffs that happened on the same day? What a coincidence!"

And I ignored the second one too - until, well we’ll get to that later.

But then someone in my family posted this:

"Get a life, people. You have 4 years to deal with this. Maybe by then, the Democrats will realize why they lost the election and come up with a real plan."

While I have no problem ignoring people I don't really know, somehow this one poked the bunny. I'm not sure why. It's partly because I thought this was very out of character for the family member who posted it. We don’t see each other much, and we have very little in common, but when we are together, we steer clear of politics and have completely normal conversations. Honestly, my first reaction was, "This is a bot." But my second reaction was to stand on a nearby soap box in order to climb up on my high horse and gallop like a maniac up and down my Facebook thread. I struggle with a superiority complex, which I cloak under self-effacing humor and strategic admissions of my own stupidity and faults. If I feel like I'm on the moral higher ground, I have an urge to fling arrows relentlessly until whoever I'm slinging them at looks like a well-used voodoo doll. Usually, my well-founded fear of being incorrect keeps me from going over the tipping point. Or there's something Jen and I call "the dead dog effect." This happens when you get angry at someone for whatever reason—not responding to emails, not fulfilling commitments, etc- so you send off a terse email telling them what you think about their bad behavior. And then eventually they email back to say, "I'm so sorry about the delay. My dog died..." So whenever we're about to lay in to someone, we think hard about the dead dog effect. You never know what someone else is going through. This is called empathy, which I believe is illegal now.

But there are times when I get tipped before even knowing where the tipping point was. And there are times when I don't care about what the other person is going through. In this instance I was like, "Who the fuck do you think you are? Why the fuck would you comment at all? Your side won, why you gotta poop on my balloon?" (Poop on my balloon is another saying at my house— invented by Jennifer, who has a knack for sayings that make no sense and total sense concurrently.) From my point of view, I was just sharing a joyous day we'd had being with other people, feeling that sense of unity, knowing that we weren't crazy for feeling the ways we've been feeling. To use the modern vernacular, I was triggered. (Are we still allowed to use the word triggered?)

But still, I knew I shouldn't engage. I KNEW! Sometimes, knowing is not enough.

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{My post.}

Super pissed off and in a great mood at the same time. Good job AVL.

Family Member:
Get a life people. You have 4 years to deal with this. Maybe by then the Democrats will realize why they lost the election and come up with a real plan.

Angelo Gianni:
Bless your heart…

Family Member:
Love you too cousin.

{I really wanted to leave it there. Bless your heart is the most ingenius passive-aggressive phrase ever invented. Its layered meaning is based on intonation that you can't really get across through text. But I think the tone was implied. This phrase is the best most innovative weapon to ever to come out of the Deep South. Then, Jen chimed in.}

Jennifer Gianni:
Our life will look a lot like how they live in Russia or China in four years

Family Member:
In which ways exactly?

Angelo Gianni:
Hey ChatGPT. Is the USA becoming more like China and Russia in 2025? If so, how?

{There were on-point explanations under each of these that I’ve removed for length…}

• Increased Surveillance of Citizens

• Crackdowns on Dissent and Protest

• Media Polarization and Censorship Pressures

• Tech-Platform-Government Nexus

• Targeting Journalists and Whistleblowers

• Foreign Policy as Distraction

• Erosion of Civil Liberties During Crises

• Elite Impunity and Political Dynasties

• Algorithmic Control of Public Opinion

• Declining Trust in Democratic Institutions

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Hey ChatGPT. Is this a balanced analysis? Or do your results lean left?

Great question — and important to ask when dealing with sensitive political comparisons like this. Here’s a candid take:

Is This Analysis Balanced?

Mostly balanced, but with a critical tone. The list points out structural and behavioral similarities between the U.S., Russia, and China, focusing primarily on civil liberties, surveillance, and democratic erosion. These are topics traditionally emphasized by civil libertarians, journalists, watchdog NGOs, and sometimes the political left.

Where It Might Lean Left

• Critique of Surveillance & Policing: These are often left-leaning or libertarian-right talking points. Concerns about facial recognition, protest crackdowns, and militarized police are common in progressive circles.

• Focus on Inequality & Elite Impunity: Notions of political dynasties, billionaires, and impunity echo left-leaning critiques of capitalism and entrenched power.

• Media & Whistleblowers: Sympathy toward figures like Julian Assange and Reality Winner tends to align with anti-establishment, anti-war left movements (though some libertarians and populist right figures share that view).

Where It Balances or Resonates with the Right

• Distrust in Institutions: Populist conservatives and libertarians also criticize elite capture, media bias, and Big Tech’s alignment with government narratives.

• Foreign Policy Critique: Both anti-interventionist left and right (e.g., some Republicans like Rand Paul or Tucker Carlson) have criticized U.S. foreign policy as a distraction from domestic decline.

• Deplatforming & Censorship: This is a huge issue on the right, especially regarding social media moderation and the “Twitter Files” revelations.

Jennifer Gianni:
If you do not know, you have been under a big rock. You being a former public servant, I would think that you might have been disturbed that our president pardoned violent criminals that harassed, maime,d and killed police officers...It's one example of many.

Family Member:
Angelo Gianni and Jennifer Gianni, thank you for your thoughtful replies. I did not mean to offend anybody. In the interest of family harmony, I will politely agree to disagree. Have a blessed weekend, and I am looking forward to seeing you again soon.

{And this is where you'd think it would be over. But no! Family Member is compelled to continue. He can’t help it - which I completely understand.}

Family Member:
Just one headline from a NYC paper

{Um. Okay. First, if you want to engage my feelings of superiority fully, send me a photo of the NY Post. Second, I looked up this article, and it had nothing to do with the conversation at hand as far as I could figure. It's quite possible I've missed something here.}

Family Member:
No police officers died on Jan 6. One unarmed civilian was killed by a police officer. Was that officer tried for her murder?

{I took this as proof that Family Member was drowning in Kool-aid.}

Jennifer Gianni:
I urge my colleagues to remember the families of the five officers who died after defending the Capitol on January 6th: Officers Brian Sicknick, Jeffrey Smith, Howie Liebengood, Gunther Hashida, and Kyle DeFreytag.Jan 23, 2025

Family Member:
All officers who die in the line of duty deserve full respect and honors

{I paid special attention to "in the line of duty." I sense a technicality.}

Red Bystander:
Have you watched any of the videos from January 6th if you have you will know exactly what happened no police officers died January 6th please show me proof that they did

{I realized that Red Bystander was at the bottom of that same pool of Kool-aid.}

Blue Bystander:
Seriously? Make no mistake….. Capitol Police officer Brian Sicknick was killed because of what happened on Jan. 6th. He may have succumbed to injuries the next day, but that negates nothing. Not going to respond again. Those in the cult shall remain until deprogrammed. I hear MAGA deprogramming is a new trendy business opportunity by the way!

{Sing it Blue Bystander! Okay. Time to bring out the big guns...}

Angelo Gianni:
I’ve already wasted a solid 10 minutes on this thread, which is more than it deserved. But I'm putting in another 10 minutes because silence sometimes gets mistaken for agreement—and I don’t want there to be any confusion.

In my opinion, supporting the current administration means supporting things that are deeply troubling:

• Deportation without due process

• Threats to academic freedom and public institutions

• Handing immense, unchecked power to unelected individuals

• Mass firings of federal workers done recklessly and sloppily

• Damaging relationships with our allies

• Cozying up to authoritarian regimes like Russia

• Dismissing the suffering of Palestinians

• Trivializing trans rights and the rights of marginalized groups

• Demonizing empathy as weakness

• Weakening environmental protections

• Economic ideas that wouldn’t pass a middle school civics class

• A convicted felon as president

• The resurgence of measles

• Pussy grabbing

…and much much more! - but I'm committed to only taking 10 minutes on this.

That’s part of the package. You don’t get to pick and choose the parts you like and pretend the rest isn’t happening. Like it or not, people who voted for Trump voted for all of the above, whether they knew it at the time or not.

Now, about January 6th—if your main takeaway is arguing technicalities over whether officers died “in the line of duty,” you’re missing the point by a mile.

Yes, no police officers were killed on the Capitol grounds that day by direct violence. But:

• Officer Sicknick died the next day. The medical examiner acknowledged the attack played a role.

• Four officers died by suicide in the days and months following, directly linked to the trauma of that day.

• Over 140 officers were injured, many seriously.

• Testimonies from officers describe it as a battlefield.

You can split hairs all day, but the reality is this: a mob tried to overturn a democratic election. People got hurt and people died. And some, apparently some in this thread, still defend that. This tells me everything I need to know. If you've watched those videos and felt pride instead of shame - then we are not of the same species.

Here are a few more things that I'll say.

If someone opens a comment with “get a life people,” they’re not looking for a thoughtful exchange. And “agree to disagree” loses its weight when it’s followed by the defense of a civilian who was in the wrong place at the wrong time because she chose to be there and a New York Post screenshot that has nothing to do with the conversation. That’s not discourse—it’s deflection. (Also - you might as well use Mad Magazine as a source - Jesus, the New York Post!?)

I have friends and family who lean MAGA. I disagree with them, but I don’t jump into their posts or try to convince them. I roll my eyes in disbelief and I scroll on by. Because I know I won’t change their minds and they won’t change mine. I offer that as a strategy many of you might consider moving forward. My politics aren’t a mystery, and I’m not really asking for feedback unless I actually ask for it. If you have something meaningful to say - go for it. Or if I post something like, "Hey Family Member - what do you think of this?!" - then by all means. But provocation for the sake of provocation is lazy and a waste of my time.

So if you want to keep things civil—and I hope you do—then maybe resist the urge to jump into a post with commentary that adds nothing meaningful other than tension. In a time of need, we'd show up for you and your family. But politically? Let's just shuffle down our own roads. We’re not on the same page. And that’s fine—as long as we respect the boundary.

Let’s all remember: not every post needs your opinion. Or mine. Facebook is stupid enough. Let's not make it even worse.

Family Member:
Well said. Have a blessed day

{Of course, I waited with baited breath for another NY Post reference. It never came. Whew. Finally over. What a waste of time. But then Red Bystander #2 had to inject!}

Red Bystander #2:
I appreciate your passion for what you support but not everyone has easy input on the subject because they either misunderstand what they're witnessing or just plain disagree with something. I don't get frustrated when people say make 'stupid' responses on my posts because that's the whole reason I even share things: To entertain other's opinions even if it doesn't match mine. People often take social media posts way too seriously, and responses even more so, putting lifelong friendships on the line over a political opinion mismatch.

My advice is, if you don't want to be subject to anyone's opinion that doesn't support yours, then don't share your opinion publicly.

{This is the same bystander who commented, "My question is, who is even listening to them?" - referring to the protesters in Asheville. I'd ignored the comment earlier. But now - hell no! It's on!}

Angelo Gianni:
Posting something doesn’t mean I’m inviting debate—it means I’m expressing myself. There’s a difference between public visibility and personal invitation. But you're right, it's a public space, so you are indeed welcome to give your opinion even when it's not asked for if you feel that need. But the ‘if you don’t want comments, don’t post’ logic is weak. Wearing a Van Halen tee shirt to the grocery store shouldn't mean I have to debate the entire discography or David v Sammy (David) with strangers in the grocery store. Although that might be fun. Point is, we still expect some basic respect, even in public. I think of people's social media pages as their front porch. I'm not usually going to show up uninvited and piss on your front porch for no reason.

Look - I overshare much more than I should on Substack, YouTube, and sometimes on Social Media. I get some comments that would make your toes curl. Whatever. Most of them are just a waste of time, coming from either bots trying to stir up trouble or from people who have way too much time on their hands. If you think I'm not down for some meaningful discourse, you're wrong. I love a comment that makes me think differently or surprises me or that means something or causes me to research something I didn't know about.

Like I said, if you have something meaningful to say, say it. In my opinion, "My question is, who is even listening to them?" wasn't meaningful. It's just graffiti. But I have zero problem with you commenting that. I can appreciate some meaningless graffiti with the best of them.

And now I've wasted another five minutes. Thanks a lot, Red Bystander#2!

Comic Relief Bystander:
David Lee Roth is one of the greatest frontmen of his generation.

Angelo Gianni:
Finally something that can bring us together as a united people!

Red Bystander #2:
My valid, cogent, and clear question, "Who is even listening to them" has still gone unanswered.

Instead, I got attacked for even asking such a question.

Would "Who are these protestors hoping to get the attention of?" be less crass, less rude, more valid, more inquisitive, and worthy of an answer?

Racecar spelled backwards is racecar.

Angelo Gianni:
Attacked? Nope. You'd know if you were being attacked. And it wasn't really a question - it was a statement. You were saying, "No one is listening to you." Which again - is fine. Your opinion has been registered... And we are in agreement that racecar spelled backwards is racecar - so we've got that going for us... Oh - to answer your question - the world is listening, and so is Donald Trump, and obviously - so are you.

Red Bystander #2:
Yeah but I was looking for a more fun answer, but I guess I'm stuck with a mental shakedown. You're an arrogant one, aren't you? - "you'd know it if I was attacking you.." and "your opinion is's just graffiti"..

I'm gonna guess and say your vote didn't go your way this time either? Yeah I heard it, we all did. Enjoy the next 3.5 years of it, because we're all subject to it.

{Okay. At this point, I was getting kinda tired of this. I'm wasting so much time. Just let it go. But I can't! This next bit is what I call ‘the flirtation technique.’ I use it on huff and puff sorts of men that I think may be slightly insecure. If they're not insecure, they'll think it's funny. If they are insecure, it is infuriating to them. It can be very effective in really pissing certain kinds of people off. Honestly, I have no idea if Red Bystander #2 is a huff-and-puff sort, is insecure, or is anything else. He’s some guy I didn’t really know in high school. Just making some wild assumptions based on nothing. I thought about letting it go. Then I thought about not letting it go.}

Angelo Gianni:
Oh, it's fun you're looking for? I'm such an idiot. I didn't realize. Okay, let me recalibrate. Stand by!

Angelo Gianni:
Oh, Red Bystander #2. Darling Red Bystander #2. Where did we go wrong? I went to bed last night thinking that our relationship was strong. I thought we’d go the distance. But alas, you find me arrogant. I’ve always had a way of convincing certain types of people to dislike me. It’s a curse that I sometimes can’t help but see as a gift. Perhaps it’s time we go our separate ways. I wish you all the best with your future trolling. Choose your next target wisely. You’ll find someone, I promise. Don’t despair, my prince. I miss your sweet nothings already. You were so good at sweet nothings.

Angelo Gianni:
Bro, if you don’t find this fun, I can’t help you! Also, if things had gone my way, I wouldn’t be protesting. You know that, silly boy! I’m also making you some SUPER FUN memes that I think you’ll get a kick out of. Use them however you want to ask your question far and wide!

Also, in keeping with your desire for me to answer your question, I'll add a little answer key for you as far as who listened. Enjoy!

{I got a real kick out of the memes. I realize that I think I’m much funnier than I actually am…}

Angelo Gianni:
Answer Key…

Arab Spring (2010–2012)
Toppled authoritarian regimes in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya; sparked regional uprisings and global discourse on democracy.

Salt March (1930, India)
Mobilized Indian resistance to British colonialism; became a symbol of nonviolent protest and helped pave the way to independence.

March on Washington (1963, USA)
Led to stronger national support for civil rights legislation; helped push forward the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Stonewall Riots (1969, USA)
Catalyzed the LGBTQ+ rights movement in the U.S. and worldwide; sparked Pride marches and long-term advocacy.

Suffragette Movement (19th–20th c.)
Secured voting rights for women in many countries; foundational to global feminist movements.

Boston Tea Party (1773, USA)
Triggered harsh British retaliation, which united American colonies and led to the Revolutionary War.

Velvet Revolution (1989, Czechoslovakia)
Peaceful protests that ended Communist rule and led to the establishment of a democratic government.

Vietnam War Protests (1960s–70s, USA)
Shifted public opinion, increased political pressure, and contributed to the eventual U.S. withdrawal from Vietnam.

{So far, that's the end of it. Which I find unbelievable. I keep waiting for the next round. I enjoyed all of this much more than I'd like to admit. Also, FUCK EVERYBODY.}

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Here's what I learned.

I'm mean, I'm aggressive, I'm condescending, I'm arrogant, and I'm insufferable. I'm not proud of any of that. But it's good for me to know (I already knew). Maybe I can work on all of this at some point. I need to set the soap box on fire, and I need to put the high horse out of its misery. (I’m hanging on to the bunny horns, though.) I have also reinforced my understanding that social media is fucked. Most importantly, I have confirmed that I am part of the problem.

My finger hovers over that Facebook icon like the addict that I am, just waiting for new crimes to commit.