ECBDRs: PRE-RAMBLE: THE GEAR

I have a self-diagnosed case of severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder which is “characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead to compulsive behaviors.” This perfectly describes how I go about certain aspects of my life. It’s not everything. Just certain things. For instance, I am absolutely haunted by nature littering my driveway. There’s one of those trees that drops the helicopter seed pods from the neighbor’s yard. There’s a massive pine tree across the street that sends constant needles. And of course, the general leaves of the neighborhood all seem to make their way to my driveway for no good reason other than to PISS ME OFF. I’m going to be completely honest here. It doesn’t just annoy me. It sends me into an unreasonable rage that can affect my mood for hours. I keep the leaf blower charged and ready at all times and I use it as a wand of vengeance to blow my hatred across the driveway hurtling my enemies into the god damned hinterlands.

When I get a to go coffee, the first thing I have to do is to align the drinking hole exactly opposite the seam of the cup. I don’t know what would happen if I didn’t do this before taking the first sip - but it would be horrendous and is something I would surely not survive.

If I lived by myself, I would live in a large empty white cube. No furniture. No windows or doors. Just a big white cube with me sitting crosslegged peacefully in the middle of it. Since I live with four women (my wife, my two daughters, and my dumb dog) I instead live in whatever the opposite of a clean white cube is. I live in chaos. I live inside the fake tornado from The Wizard of Oz movie. Things are constantly in a state of movement and change. Things are not left in the proper place where they should always be when you need them. Things are NEVER where they should be. When I reach for the kitchen scissors and they’re not there - RAGE. When I reach for the nail clippers that I keep in a tiny sealed Tupperware box that has a skull and crossbones painted on it and that I have warned my wife many many MANY times that if she ever enters this sacred space and misplaces my personal property that she will be murdered in a most egregious fashion… when I reach for those nail clippers and they’re not there - RAGE. When I come down the stairs every single morning and pass the open closet door where I put a sign on the inside 11 years ago that says, “Leaving this door open means you HATE Dad” - RAGE. (Seriously - proof of Dad Hatred is how I start each morning of my life.)

What I’m trying to tell you is that I live in a semi-constant state of RAGE that is caused mostly by disorganization. And I’m telling you a bit of a lie. This isn’t really true... Not at all. Not really. But kind of. In every good lie, there is a hint of truth. Let’s just say that this is partially the reason that a nice long solo motorcycle journey is good for my mental health. I am in complete control Everything sure as shit is going to be where it’s supposed to be. I am the god damned king of my kingdom. I make all the rules. Everything is run in accordance with my divine edict. I am the dictator of my roving domain. I am the ruler of all. It’s as close to a white cube as I’m ever going to get.

The point is, my OCD spills over a bit when it comes to gear. I don’t spend any time worrying about the important things like beefing up my suspension or making sure the brakes work or much of anything else that could help the bike perform better. But I’m all about anything that will make me more comfortable or make things easier on me. When riding I could care less about the shortest distance between point A and point B. In most other things - I obsess over finding the easiest most efficient way to set myself up.


LUGGAGE

Buy now, cry now. I’m a cheap bastard. I really am. Maybe it’s not exactly cheapness. It’s more of an absolute hatred of ever feeling that I’ve been ripped off. And I get quite an endorphin rush when I feel like I’ve gotten a good deal. But sometimes the best move is to just pay the money for the good stuff and get it over with. In this spirit, I purchased a Mosko Moto Reckless 80 luggage system with a Nomax Tank Bag. I didn’t mind my setup on the Honda, but it was a bit janky. It was just some dry bags strapped down to the back rack, and there were plenty of times when it bounced out of whack on the rough stuff. Not only is that a pain in the ass, but it’s dangerous. And one wreck was caused specifically by this problem. So I spent the money. And I’m glad I did. I never thought I’d ever have passionate feelings about motorcycle luggage, but I’m truly in love. The system just makes sense. It keeps things low on the bike. It’s more room than I need which may turn out to be a problem because I seem to want to use every liter of space. What can I say? It’s well designed, well made, and perfect for me.

GPS, CRASH BARS, HAND GUARDS, CAMERA MOUNTS, & MISC
Buy now cry now part 2. On the TAT I used an old iPhone 6 with Gaia as my nav system. It worked just fine. I love Gaia and still use that for all route planning etc. But the Gaia app wasn’t perfect for me. Those tiny little icons don’t respond well to gloves. And I spent a lot of time dangerously trying to change it to the correct mode or generally fiddling with it while riding. I came across an incredible deal on a Zumo XT on FB marketplace and had made the impulse purchase before I gave myself too much time to think about it. The Basecamp software that was designed to work with it is absolute rubbish and I discarded it right away. I do all my routes in Gaia, export the gpx files, upload those to Garmin Explore - and I’m good to go. The Zumo itself is fairly great. Big icons, a bright screen - it’s made for motorcycles and I’m happy to have it.
I installed the Givi crash bars and the Bark Buster hand guards first thing because I am someone who will get a ton of use out of them. I already have. They’re solid.
I started with a Himalayan Pro Mount for the phone and it sucked. It’s too tall and too janky. The SCR GPS mount is fantastic. I threw on the obligatory Double Take Mirrors because Norally had them - and they’re great too.
And I’m probably about as lazy as I am cheap. One of the things I didn’t enjoy on the TAT was lubing the chain. Yes, it took 30 seconds. Yes, it’s not difficult to do. But I wanted to make room for a second MSR fuel bottle by getting rid of the can of lube I was carrying. So I installed a cheapo “automatic” chain oiler called the Loobman. And it’s as good as its name is stupid. Simple to install. A simple idea. And it works.


ELECTRONICS, CHARGING, & FILMING

No gear has caused me more sleepless nights of plotting and planning than a way to charge my filming gear and electronics. I got things figured out just barely enough for it all to work on the TAT. But it wasn’t elegant. In fact, it was downright messy. So I really wanted to come up with something that would be simple and easy for my next big trip. For the TAT, I had an SAE coming from the battery into a 12-110 inverter. From that, I powered a USB hub that in turn powered all of my many gadgets while leaving a 110 plug open to charge my laptop while I rode. But it was all housed in a tank bag that looked like a plate of spaghetti fighting with seven octopuses. (You’d think it might be “octupi”, but you’d be wrong.) And the biggest annoyance was that every time I turned the bike off I had to unplug the SAE connector because I was paranoid that the battery would drain instantly if I left things plugged in. So job one was sorting out my power source and gadget organization and how to keep the vicious spaghetti away from the angry octopuses.

I’m a fairly handy person. I can do some things with varying degrees of competency. But electricity scares the crap out of me. Even a mere 12 volts of it. I’d heard about a place in Knoxville that specialized in cycle electrical systems from a fellow rider on Facebook. I contacted them and sent them sketches and drawings and a three thousand-word white paper on what I was looking for.

They tired of me quickly and eventually wouldn’t answer my emails or calls. I can’t blame them. So back to the drawing board. I knew this stuff wasn’t all that difficult and that I could definitely (probably) figure it out and do it myself. So I made a plan to go the relay/fuse box route. Then I discovered the HealTech Thunderbox. Now I understand that a Thunderbox is something very different for you Aussies out there. But for the mates in Hungary, it is a magical little device that I have no hope of ever understanding. As far as I can tell, it’s a relay, a fuse box, and a surge protector that comes in a tiny sealed matchbox-sized unit that is created using some sort of ancient Central European elfin spell.

With a $70-$90 price tag, you electricians may be thinking - “what an idiot.” But for me, to have this one tiny box instead of relays and a big fuse box situation made it worth the money. I LOVE this thing. It’s flexible and can work either like a normal relay where it will turn on and off based on a wire powered by your ignition. Or even better - you just hook the red and black wires to the battery - and through some Hungarian Vodoo, it knows when the engine is on and will turn on when the engine is running and off when it’s not. So there’s even less chance of ever mistakenly draining your battery.

So I installed this little treasure and then wired up my Zumo XT, my new blinding fog lights, my cleverly mounted SAE (I stole this idea from the Knoxville people), a USB dual port hub in the front, and a USB dual port hub in the back of the bike (more on why later). It works perfectly and is by far the favorite mod that I’ve done to the bike.

And the last and most important mod was the seat. My Ass was forever changed by the Honda CT125 seat. So I purchased a Sahara seat for the REH. It’s great. I have to tell you that I might not recommend it because the build quality is definitely questionable and it’s already starting to fall apart. But it’s very very comfortable and my Ass is as happy as it’s ever been.
I won’t go into the camping gear and every single little bit and bob I’m bringing here. You’ll see that stuff as the trip unfolds. But let’s just say - I feel very well setup.